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"I love BBW. I love them with a great and wonderful passion ... not to sound too corny but I like meat on my bones and I love them in lingerie." ~ Eddie [FA]


Health at Every Size - these are the buzz words around the internet these days. Are you healthy? Do you want to be healthier?

What is health? The World Health Organization defined health in its broader sense in 1946 as "a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity". Being healthier doesn't mean losing weight. To you it might mean:

We are very happy to announce that we have a Registered Dietician on staff who will be writing our Health At Every Size series as well as answering a reader's question each month. You can read about Shari's philosophy and experience on our staff page. If you have a question for Shari, please email us at

Disclaimer: This advice is not intended to be a substitute for, nor does it replace, professional medical, health or nutritional advice.

Unlock YOUR irresistibility without spending a dime
Part 10: Shoot Your "Poor Me" Stories in the Bin

You can be a victim, or you can be an irresistible woman.
But you can't be both.
And only you can decide who you want to be.

Before you get all 'Oh, but I am truly a victim!', hold that thought right there.

Don't ruminate about whoever may have wronged you in the past. Take a deep breath and be present while you're reading this article.

I get it, life isn't all sunshine and butterflies. You've got storms and cockroaches as well.

Now, you can choose to focus on the storms and feel disgusted by [event/individual X]. And I respect that choice – your life, your decisions.

But think about this. If you're constantly (or regularly) ruminating about what went wrong in your life, all you'll have are 'poor me' stories. And all you'll share with others (friends, colleagues, potential partners) would be those 'poor me' stories.

If you're an introvert, you may not share those stories but you're likely to judge/assess others based on those stories.

Because if you are bitter in your head, this bitterness will seep into almost every aspect of your life.

For instance, many of my clients complain about their parents at some point. For some, it could be that their mum was a control freak and now they're super critical of everyone. Others blame their inability to be consistent in what they do because their dad was disorganized.

But when they objectively analyzed these 'poor me' stories, these clients realized that it was their bratty teenage minds that made up these stories. And that their childhood wasn't so bad after all.

Now, I am not saying that anyone who has experienced child abuse or domestic violence is imagining things. Tragic events do happen.

What I'm saying is that, even if you do have a tragic past, think about what holding on to the pain, hurt, and anger is doing to your irresistibility.

True story

Angela is a 32-year-old young woman. She got married to her high-school sweetheart when she was 20. Sadly, her husband was physically and verbally abusive. And his severe, unfounded, trust issues made Angela's life a living (and bloody) nightmare.

Angela filed for divorce at 24. But she couldn't let go of the resentment for her ex-husband. And that's understandable.

Unfortunately, because of all this anger turned into deep-seated bitterness, Angela was unable to move on with her love life. She met someone but couldn't allow herself to trust him (just like her ex-husband wouldn't trust her despite having no reason to doubt her).

And the worst thing is that she didn't even realize that she was projecting her past onto the new man in her life. When she did realize, there was too much damage done to that relationship. And just like Angela, the new guy couldn't stand not being trusted.

But you know what Angela told me?

Yes, she was sad that this new relationship hadn't worked out. But she decided to face her 'poor me' stories. She also acknowledged how, ten years later, she was allowing her marriage to keep ruing her life. And this made her realize that she no longer wanted to be 'a victim of domestic abuse'. Moving forward, she would use her past to strengthen herself and help others.

Your irresistibility action plan

What 'poor me' stories are you still holding to? Write them down. (Seriously, write. This is not going to work if you do this exercise mentally.)

Now, look at those stories. Are they really true?

If they are true, is it helping you to hold on to these stories? Or could you use your past to your advantage and make this world a better place?

Because there is no one else like you.

And it would be a shame to deny the world of the true YOU. The you unhindered with 'poor me' stories.

Submitted by: Shari

Feel free to post about your own journey with Health At Every Size, any questions you may have or suggestions for future topics on our Facebook page or our Forums. Shari also has her own Facebook page .

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