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SSBBW / FA Quote of the Moment

"I am captivated by the femininity of their curves. I find a full-figured female body very sexy and appealing." ~ Charles [FA]


Health at Every Size - these are the buzz words around the internet these days. Are you healthy? Do you want to be healthier?

What is health? The World Health Organization defined health in its broader sense in 1946 as "a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity". Being healthier doesn't mean losing weight. To you it might mean:

We are very happy to announce that we have a Registered Dietician on staff who will be writing our Health At Every Size series as well as answering a reader's question each month. You can read about Shari's philosophy and experience on our staff page. If you have a question for Shari, please email us at

Disclaimer: This advice is not intended to be a substitute for, nor does it replace, professional medical, health or nutritional advice.

Are YOUR thoughts up-to-date? [Part 3]

This is part 3 of the 'Unlock the irresistible YOU' series. You might want to check out the intro, part 1 and part 2 before reading part 3.

So, this article is all about how you think. About yourself. And in general.

Because let's face it: most women, myself included, tend to overthink things. We tend to blow things out of proportion and many of our thoughts are fictional and absolutely toxic.

Why toxic? Well, not only will our thoughts dictate how we act, but they will also make us bitter, less open, and more likely to unconsciously do things that can ruin relationships.

Thoughts like 'I'm not worth much / pretty enough - why would people want to make friends with me?'

If you think this way, two things can happen:

  1. You'll build walls around yourself (to shield yourself from pain). But then people might think you're arrogant or too full of yourself to care about someone else. Result: You'll drive people away and you'll say 'Hey! Look! I was right. People don't want to make friends with me!'
  2. 2. You'll meet someone and you'll do E-VERY-THING you can to make that person happy. Except that you'll probably focus on tangible things you can give to that person. Or whenever you're with that person, you'll keep thinking '[name] will realize that I'm not worth much and will leave'. And this could prevent you from truly connecting with that person. Because if you hold back because of those old thoughts, the other person will think that you're just not into that relationship.

And the worst part is that how we think often stems from distressing situations, such as a breakup or being 'uncool' when we were younger. In other words, these thoughts are obsolete and badly need to be updated.

So, let's update them! Read each of the following questions and write down your answers. I'd love to hear your thoughts - share them on the FB page of SSBBW magazine or mine.

  1. What are your thoughts about:
    • Relationships?
    • Friends?
    • Love?
    • Men?
    • Love?
    • Life?
  2. What thoughts first come to your mind when you look at your body?
  3. Now, look back at each of those thoughts you wrote down and ask yourself:
    • When did you make each of the above decisions?
    • Was it an upsetting situation?
    • How old were you then?
    • How true are those thoughts?
  4. Are these thoughts useful to you? (Or how are they preventing you from achieving what you want or being truly YOU?)
  5. Are you truly willing to reclaim your irresistibility?

If you answered yes to this question, then you have to sit down with those thoughts and turn them around. What I mean is you have to ask yourself what you can learn from them and then keep repeating to yourself that you are worth it / pretty / you deserve to be loved etc.

In the next article, I'll talk about the importance of personal responsibility.

Submitted by: Shari

Feel free to post about your own journey with Health At Every Size, any questions you may have or suggestions for future topics on our Facebook page or our Forums. Shari also has her own Facebook page .

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