THE FUNNY BONE
Tasteful jokes and comics
Know a good tasteful joke? Seen a funny cartoon/comic by or about SSBBW/BBW that made you laugh? Let us know at email@example.com.
Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover
- You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.
- Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still."
- Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint.
- The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"
- You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.
- You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.
- You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.
- Your catch phrase is, "Never again."
- You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.
- Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"
New Year's Day Prayer for One and All
So far this year I've done well.
I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.
"New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."
"One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things."