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SSBBW / FA Quote of the Moment

"We are after all as nature intended - think about it - there are many different species of animal and plant - take the bird (of the feathered kind :)) - comes in all hues - shapes - colours and sizes - flowers - all different colours - sizes - shapes - humans..... all different shapes - sizes - colours etc - so we are not freaks - we a re not ugly - we are as nature intended - to provide variety." ~ Divine DeeDee [SSBBW]



LITERATURE

Reviews of books, articles, and poetry written by or about ssbbw/bbw

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2013 in Review

Well, 2013 sure was a fun year, right? I mean, not a lick of bad news to be found, am I right? ... No? 2013 was horrible, you say? Just like every other year? Well, my cynical friends, if the main media news sources are to be believed, I could see where you'd get that impression. So let me take the time out to welcome you to what is an annual tradition for me, where we take a look back on the past year and consider all the things funny, heartwarming, bizarre and surreal that happened in the past 12 months. In this, there will be no bad news, no politics, no scandals, no gossip - just the good stuff. For instance, let's begin by reflecting on the fact that the New York Yankees once more did not win the World Series. Ahh. We're already kicking off on a high note!

In January...

The phrase "Robo-Squirrel" became viable, as 325,000 USD was funneled into creating a robotic squirrel in order to "study the relationships between squirrels and rattlesnakes". Somehow, someone, someplace decided this relationship was confusing enough to warrant this, but they could've paid me half that and I'd have helpfully mentioned that snakes tend to eat squirrels. Mystery solved. In unfortunate, but still hilarious news, headlines ran in The Detroit News that read "Happy hookers help Homeless", the headline failing to mention that the "Happy Hookers" was a group of crochet enthusiasts, but it still makes my inner 12 year-old giggle with glee.

February...

Showed us amazing scientific progress, as American scientists utilize a 3D printer to grow a replacement ear using collagen and animal ear cells, stating it could be a tremendous step forward in treating transplants and amputation patients. Personally, I'm going to make it my priority to be extra-nice to medical professionals from here on out, seeing as I don't want to be the first one to receive one of these transplants and the nickname "Bunny-Boy" simultaneously. And in unrelated news so bizarre I cannot believe I'm even writing this without making it up: plastic surgeons in Turkey and Egypt report a massive increase in mustache implants. Apparently for 7,000 USD, you too can have your own impressive cookie-duster of considerable stature. This apparently has to do with the strong pride in Middle Eastern countries concerning the quality of facial hair, including common phrases including swearing an oath upon one's stache, or in particularly rude cases, placing a curse upon another's nose protector. Strange, but true.

In March...

Canada becomes the first nation to withdraw from United Nations Convention to Combat Desertification in Those Countries Experiencing Serious Drought and/or Desertification, Particularly in Africa (UNCCD), which by the way is not a name I just made up - it's a real thing. Seeing as how Canada is neither in Africa nor a desert, and seeing as this organization has existed for decades and apparently never done a thing, I could see how they might become disenchanted with the whole ordeal. And in news that proves I will never understand celebrity culture, the "Vampire Facial" became popularized when Kim Kardashian had one done and posted the pictures on instagram. The idea is that blood is withdrawn from the subject's arm, then has the red blood cells and platelets in the blood separated, then the doctor injects the face with the plasma via micro-needle. Why on Earth would somebody do this? Allegedly, it slows the aging process - and apart from there being absolutely no evidence to support this claim whatsoever, they're basically right. But they're also creepy.

In April...

A rare 5-cent coin, stamped with the Statue of Liberty on it, sold at an auction for 3.2 million USD in Illinois. I want to repeat that in case you don't understand my disbelief: A five-cent coin sold for 3.2 million dollars. If you can't conceive of what's wrong with this picture, I have a wheat penny to sell you for 4 million. Meanwhile, half a world over, in the coldest region of Russia (The Siberian Republic of Yakutia) artist Mikhail Bopposov has sculpted a 900 pound sculpture of a massive snake, in honor of the Chinese year of the adder. What material could've possibly been used that made it so heavy? 100% natural cow dung. Bopposov plans to sell it when the temperatures begin to rise again and when dung is a vital resource for fertilizer. Why the statue was a necessary step to begin with alludes me, though I'm sure there's a terrible pun to be made of the situation.

In May...

Iceland launched its "Inspired by Iceland" competition, where over 25,000 submissions were taken in for suggestions to rename the country. Suggestions ranged from the likes of "OMGWTFLand" or "Best Place to Grow a Beard Land". I suppose we could rename Turkey "Best Place to Grow a Mustache Land" if that was true. However, these names are not official to rename the actual country, but more of a show of what Iceland makes them think of. I worry for them all in that case. Speaking of facial hair, in Germany, the International Beard Championships were held where over 100 people gathered. Contestants competed in 18 categories, one of which was "freestyle" which is both horrifying and fascinating to consider. And in non-hair related news, a grocery store in northern California is now using security camera footage of a (hilariously poor) attempt at a robber's break-in in their newest ad campaign, proving that there is at least a little justice in the universe. The robber clumsily approaches the door, then hurls a rock hoping to shatter the glass door (which cracks but does not give), then trips twice in his fleeing from the scene.

In June...

It was discovered that the words "Today", "Tomorrow" and "Big Yellow Duck" have been added to the list of censored internet search terms now blocked by the Chinese government. The jokes should write themselves, but it is just not coming to me. The Food and Drug Administration made waves amongst cheese aficionados when it declared that cheese could only have six mites in it per square inch. Rachel Dutton, who works in a "cheese laboratory" at Harvard University - yes, that's apparently a real thing - replied by pointing out that cheese is a biome to itself, with hundreds of bacterium, molds, and living things in and on it and part of what aerates it. Further proof that everything you want in life is bad for you, I guess.

In July...

A two-headed turtle gains mass popularity in the San Antonio Zoo - and she's healthy and well. The left head was named Louise, and the right, Thelma. If you don't get it, you were deprived as a child. In France, a law dating back to 1881 was struck from the record, making it no longer an offense to be rude to the nation's president. This decision was handed down in lieu of a case of a man being arrested for brandishing a sign declaring "Get lost, jerk". In equally baffling political news, In Lytle, Texas, only 33 people went out to vote for their school board representative, including a singular person who voted for the District #1. Christina Mercado was then declared the 1-0 victor, on account that she couldn't vote for herself (as she didn't live in District #1) and neither could her opponent. Sometimes I wonder how this species continues breathing.

Come August...

The world loses all sanity as a 15 year old girl was pulled from the premises of Camp Emerson, in Hinsdale, Massachusetts by local authorities for... kissing a boy. The boy was also kicked out of the camp. In return, the unnamed girl is suing for emotional distress. I want to stress that I'm not making this up. And further proving that nothing can ever be quite weird enough, one Michael Zuk, a dentist, purchased one of John Lennon's teeth for over 30,000 USD. There's a fine line between fandom and obsession, and that's the tooth.

In September...

In China, a man known only as Xiaolian, after a car accident damaged his nose, had a new one grown right atop his forehead. That's not a joke: using skin tissue expander and cartilage from his ribs, surgeons were able to success