THE FUNNY BONE
Tasteful jokes and comics
Know a good tasteful joke? Seen a funny cartoon/comic by or about SSBBW/BBW that made you laugh? Let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover
- You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets.
- Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "Stay still."
- Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as drinking a glass of fresh paint.
- The bathroom reminds you of the fairground cry, "Step right up and give it whirl!"
- You'd rather chew tacks than be exposed to sunlight.
- You set aside an entire afternoon to spend some quality time with your toilet.
- You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.
- Your catch phrase is, "Never again."
- You could purchase a new fridge on the proceeds from recycling the bottles around your bed.
- Your new response to "Good morning," is "Be quiet!"
Dieting - New Year Resolutions
2007: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2008: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2009: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2010: I will work out 3 days a week.
2011: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
|"New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions."|
|"Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution."