AN SSBBWs WORLD
Information and rants about living in the real world as an SSBBW
As SSBBWs, we live in a world built for smaller people. Each day we face challenges to fit in, or even to just fit. While education and information are powerful tools, our best resource is each other. Let us know your tips or rants about this subject at firstname.lastname@example.org.
My vision with this magazine is to let you know that you are not alone. There are other SSBBWs around the world with the same issues, thoughts, worries and joys as you have. Whether you have accepted your weight and love your body, whether you are actively working to lose weight or whether you want to get healthier and have more mobility but don't know where to start, you are not alone.
Whether you are single or in a relationship, have children or not, work or are unemployed, housebound or relatively mobile, healthy or have medical issues, you are not alone.
Let's band together and share our stories, our triumphs and our pain.
Weight: 345 lbs
Location: Ontario, Canada
Single, self employed 48 year old. No children. Relatively mobile
This month for some reason I've been thinking about my life, in particular the end of my life. I am single and very happy being single. I've always been a bit of a loner and that has been fine with me. My mother has been bugging me to get a will written and I know I should so because of this I've been thinking about my *things* and what I want done with them in the event of my demise.
In my immediate family I have my mother and my sister. If I outlive the both of them who will go through my things. What will happen to them? Will a stranger come into my home and just toss out all of my photographs and memories. Sell my furniture and clothes? What a sad thought.
What about the magazine? What will happen to it? Even more than that, I worry about leaving this world without having contributed anything. Being forgotten.
I really don't know why I'm suddenly thinking about these things and worrying about them. I should be living in the moment and enjoying the time I have left (which hopefully is many many years). I keep saying tomorrow I will exercise, or eat better or get out and do something fun, or do something out of my box...tomorrow I will live. But tomorrow never comes. Perhaps it's time to ensure it does.
Blogger: Ms Christine H|
Weight: 334 lbs
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Single, employed full time 46 year old with mobility.
I belong to the Facebook USA DC NAAFA-Capital Chapter. Today I read an article posted there about a Schoolboy triathlete, 11, who plays football and rugby branded clinically obese in NHS letter. All I could think as I was reading through the article was "that was me". This happened to me when I was in middle school. I played softball, field hockey & was on the swim team. I was always active. Just because I was bigger I was labeled as "fat", was called "fat" by the health unit staff, my peers & school faculty. My mother was told I needed to diet. Although I was larger, I was very active and very healthy. I will tell you, when I got to high school, I stopped all my activities after my first year when all the same things happened. And after that I began to gain weight. I still stayed active but I kept out of competitive sports because I didn't want the humilation that came with being bigger than anyone else. As I thought about it today, I think, "what a shame". I really enjoyed sports. I liked being part of a team and like being involved. I am still active now, but someone does need to look at what we do to our children.
Weight: 400 lbs
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Single 50 year old on disability, uses walker or power wheelchair.
TAKE A STAND
Not too long ago, I was waiting for the elevator to take me downstairs. Two gentlemen were also waiting. When the elevator opened, I told them to enter first as this elevator is smaller than the other one, and my wheelchair was a bariatric one. They asked if I was heading to the main floor and I told them I was. Right away one of the gentlemen said to me ĎYou should try the raw food diet. It cures all alimentsí. I told him that I was not interested in hearing this.
Why do strangers feel they have a right to tell people who are fat what to do? I used to get this unsolicited advice years ago and I guess then my self-esteem was non-existent and I didnít know how to tell them politely to mind their business. So I was taken a back at his intrusion into my personal life. When I told him I wasnít interested he still insisted and I got angry and told him that I was offended and itís none of his business.
I would never go up to a stranger to solicit advice to them, as itís not my business to ask. I guess some people seem to think fat people are unaware of current dieting trends, or that we are stupid. Dieting is the one of the causes of increased weight gain, at least in my case. Iím currently working on my health and that doesnít mean dieting plays a major rule anymore in my life like it used to. I have no problem standing up for myself now. I felt empowered, regardless if those agree with me or not.
Weight: 415 lbs
Location: Texas, USA
40 year old in a relationship. She works and is mobile.
Dear Jeff Smisek and Continental/United Airlines,
Today was not the case. I was on flight CO1499 from MSY to IAH, scheduled for a 6:50 a.m. departure. My seat was toward the front of the plane, so my section was the last called. There were probably 20 of us waiting to get on the plane when they had us stop before the plane door. The overhead compartments were full and we were going to need to check our luggage. Not gate check, but actually check our luggage to be picked up at baggage claim. I am only including this bit because I think the flight attendants were already having a bad day. This was a full flightÖfull of passengers and luggage. I checked my bag and made my way to my seat, 8D. I was in the process of flagging down an attendant to ask for a seatbelt extender. I never made it that far. One attendant approached me and said they were going to have to move me and that I was going to have to buy two seats. I was a bit shocked. I said ďI have flown with you about 30 times this year and this is the first time anyone has ever said this to me. I also have several more flights that I have already paid for, for this year. Are you saying that I have to buy an additional seat for all those flights?Ē. She said ďI am just the messenger.Ē. In the meantime, several more flight attendants were toward the back of plane trying to juggle passengers. They asked several people and finally ended up moving two people so I could have access to the only extra seat on the plane. They told me I had to move. I had to do the walk of shame down the plane. I think my final seat ended up being 26C. I didnít raise a fuss, I did what they said and silently cried in my seat.
When our flight landed in Houston, I made my way to the Continental check in area of Terminal C. I asked to speak to a manager or supervisor. I was directed to Darren Elwood. My first question for Mr. Elwood was what exactly Continentalís policy is regarding passengers that fall outside of the ďnormalĒ percentile. I said to him ďby looking at me, you can probably see where this is going. I was told by one of the flight attendants on my flight that I would have to purchase two tickets and they made a big production of moving meĒ. He asked me what type of plane I was on. I told him that it had 3 seats, a walkway, and then 3 more seats. He asked me if I could fit in the seat with the armrests down. I said yes. He asked me if I needed more than one seatbelt extender. No. He asked me if the person sitting next to me complained about the situation. I said, not that I know of. They never once got out of their seat and never once rang the call button. Mr. Elwood was very nice, calm, and courteous. He said that as far as he knew I shouldnít have been treated that way. He apologized. He did say, for future reference, I can ask to be removed from a plane. If I am ever uncomfortable or have a problem, I can ask to be let off the plane. If I would have known that, today would have been the day.
In all the flights I have taken, I have had to sit next to: someone with horrible body order/bad breath, screaming kids, intoxicated passengers, kids kicking the back of my seat the whole flight, people talking/debating religion/their sex life/politics/abortion. Never once have I complained. They paid for their seat just like I did. A plane is a small, cramped space. I really donít think anyone wants to sit that close to a total stranger. We do it because we have to. Because we want to go on vacation, see our family, have work to tend to, etc. It is an amazing thing to be able to cover a long distance in a short amount of time and usually end up with something fun on the other end.
I get it. Believe me I do. I have to put my pants on every morning. I know what size I am and how much room I take. If I ever do forget, there is always someone or something to remind me. Today, that was Continental. It isnít ever pleasant to be told you are fat. It isnít ever pleasant to be told you are fat in front of 200 strangers. I expect that behavior of Southwest Airlines. I didnít and donít expect it of Continental. If I am going to be treated like a Southwest passenger, I might as well fly Southwest Airlines.
Blogger: Ah Girl Plus Size|
Single 19 year old who is self employed and mobile.
No submission this month.
Location: UK - North
39 year old single synical bisexual whose mobility is limited by ME and a fondness for falling over.
No submission this month.
Location: North Carolina, USA
43 year old single mother of three adult sons. She is an artist who is very mobile.
As this is my Birth month I am always retrospective, and this year has been no different with my new health issues and unable to find work. We often want to blame ourselves for everything. We (well me anyway, I like to think I am not alone in this) I have a small voice that is made up of all the voices of my childhood and more. It seems its the meanest voices that scream out the loudest when I feel weak or down. As a result when I am low I pick at myself. You did not get that job because your fat. Being fat tells others you lack self control your weak. The truth is I am not weak at all if you look back at my life I have not only stood through more ductility then most I have been available to help other even in my deepest darkest places. I am open and honest and face things head on. I am resourceful alowing me to to continue on even in a style of living that defies explanation. My faith is open and honest and my love deep and strong , I have high standards both for myself and the people I love yet its full of grace for then also.
Yet this year when I have so many reasons to be ripping myself apart, my health is at an all time low, I have been out of work two years (well unless you count working with a start up that has not paid me a dime, in two years) and so much more. Yet for the first time I am not blaming myself or others, my focus has changed. In the past I had such grace for others, I was so nurturing but to myself I was cold and judgmental. I am no longer choosing to help the mean voices but rather to hear the small quit voices. That remind my of my talent as an artist, the depth of love I have for my children and much more. This year and every year after I choose to be quit and hear the quiet voices. I hope that by next year the quiet voice sound like screams of joy. May not only me, but everyone learn to stop tearing at ourselves no more blame. "my husband left me because I got fat" the truth of it is I got fat because I was loving myself in a loveless marriage. I wear each proud because of health issue and emotional issues and I will never again beat myself up for how I am its not who I am anyway. I have been fit and I have been fat it does not matter I am still me no matter what size I am. So may your quiet voices be loud this year too as we all bring joy to this world may we see it.
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
21 year old unemployed college student. She is engaged and expecting her first child end of October.
As fall begins this year, Iím finding myself becoming a Mother for the first time. In less than a month I will be responsible for a life other than my own. The 8 month journey Iíve been on has not been easy; itís been a challenge, not only emotionally but physically as well. Being obese and becoming pregnant is not like any pregnancy a ďnormalĒ healthy adult woman goes through.
Physically speaking, this pregnancy has been rough on my body. Before I became pregnant I weighed nearly 300lbs, now weighing 325lbs (including the weight from the baby) basic physical activities are a definite challenge. Walking up the steps, bending down to put pants on, putting shoes on, all of these simple everyday things have become issues. Though they were never truly easy in the first place, they have become even more difficult as time has gone on.
Emotionally speaking, this pregnancy has been like a roller coaster! Everything from dealing with the initial shock of becoming someoneís Mom for the first time, all the way down to the embarrassing doctorís office visits, and having to get weighed every single time, and seeing that number go up every single time! If you didnít already know me you probably couldnít even tell that Iím pregnant. Sometimes with heavier women itís difficult to tell because there is already so much there. Iíve often found myself jealous of other pregnant women because people could actually tell that they were having a baby. I pulled through it all. Itís been a heck of a journey!
After I have my daughter later this month I hope to drop some of this weight so that these simple everyday tasks are no longer a challenge. When this is all said and done, Iím looking forward to a happier, healthier me, and a long happy life with my new family. Next time I write I will be a brand new Mom! Iím looking forward to sharing the news with you all very soon!
Looking for more SSBBWs to blog about their lives each month...
We are looking for SSBBWs from all walks of life and from around the world to write a few paragraphs each month to show us that what they are going through is what we are going through. Did you overcome some obstacle? Did you get laughed at or made fun of in public? Did you feel depressed? Did something change your view of yourself?
We can make your blog anonymous or post your name and/or picture, it's your choice. If you are interested, please send us an email to email@example.com and tell us a bit about yourself, why you'd be a great fit for this new feature and a sample paragraph.