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SSBBW Magazine's resident advice columnist

Hey there everyone. I'm Gabby, sister Bertha's northern cousin. I'm going to be taking your questions now. I hope I can be of help to all you amazing readers, so please don't hesitate to let me know what is bothering you.

Now keep sendin' in those letters to me at and make sure you mark it Attention: Dear Gabby.

This months letter...

I am not looking for any special kind of treatment or anything like that.  I have had this question running around inside my head what feels like ages and no one has been able to answer it or should i say settle it for me.  I believe I qualify as SSBBW and the first thought I have is how in Gods name can anyone find the size of me attractive.  I look down at my body and my first response is the urge to vomit.  I would appreciate an answer i can believe and grab onto.  Thank you...

Gabby's response...

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

I freely admit that I have no idea whosoever said that but I think they were quite smart. Whatever I think is beautiful someone else may have a totally different view of.

I could tell you that we are all unique, attractive, wonderful people and we are all deserving of love and attention in all its many forms. The truth is though that if you don't think you are worthy of all that then you are not going to let anything else think that you are. There could be someone in your life, right this moment, who truly believes that you are the most beautiful, sexiest, wonderful person they have ever known but you are not willing to accept that. You, my friend, have to change your way of thinking and seeing yourself.

What helped me (and I know this is going to sound hokey and corny) was saying a personal mantra in the morning and repeating it to myself as many times as I needed to get me through the day. I kept at it and really tried to live by it and eventually I started to feel better about myself. It goes sort of like this, "Just for today I am going to be the best person I can be. Just for today I am not going to knowingly hurt myself or others in any way, shape, or form. Just for today I am going to believe in myself and truly love me!!! I told you that would sound hokey but please give it a try.

If you are unhappy with your body image then only you can change it. Start with baby steps. Pick something you eat or drink that you know is not doing you any good and try to cut it from your daily life. Try to substitute it with something that is good for you. If you know that your portions are too big (this is my big issue) then start to cut back. If you have 4 or 5 slices of bread at a time then try 3 or 4. Don't make drastic changes as they probably won't last. Remember, every little thing can add up to big things. Most of all "DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP".

There are many groups out there, both on-line and off, that can offer help and support (including our own forums). You are not alone and I think you will be surprised at how many people think like you do about themselves.

Bottom line in all this is that YOU ARE GORGEOUS JUST BY BEING YOU. If you believe in yourself and have confidence in you then others will be attracted to your positive energy and will want to get to know you and all your glory. Please drop me a line any time you want and let me know how are you doing.

I'll be thinking of you. Love, Gabby

Disclaimer: This advice is for fun and entertainment purposes only. It should not replace the advice of a qualified professional.

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