SSBBW Magazine's resident advice columnist
Hey there everyone. I'm Gabby, sister Bertha's northern cousin. I'm going to be taking your questions now. I hope I can be of help to all you amazing readers, so please don't hesitate to let me know what is bothering you.
Now keep sendin' in those letters to me at firstname.lastname@example.org and make sure you mark it Attention: Dear Gabby.
This months letter...
When I first met my spouse, I was waiting for weight loss surgery and he said that if he had known what that was he would not have contacted me. He is very opposed to WLS, he is very much an FA. I am finding that my quality of life has deteriorated and will continue to deteriorate. He does not seem to think it is a problem if I need a walker, wheelchair or scooter because of something related to my weight. He's one of those people who in all other areas, does not believe in putting a bandaid on the sympton, which to me, is exactly what walkers, wheelchairs are, bandaids. My knees, hips, feet hurt because of the weight. He does not really acknowledge this. I am constantly depressed due to my weight. It is very limiting, even for daily activities. He does not "get it", why I could be so depressed: I should just change the way I look at things. haha It is nice that he loves my body and he is the first one I have been involved with that has loved it as much as he does, but I do suspect that that clouds the rest of our relationship.
It is what it is. He may say he supports you; however his actions say different.
It may be that he finds SSBBSWs totally hot. It may be that he is insecure about himself and that as you gain self confidence while losing weight you may decide you can do better than him (we are so not the only ones with issues). It may be that he likes being in the position to push your emotional buttons. It also may be all of the above!!!
Talk to him honestly and openly. Communication is so important even though most of us are so afraid of actually doing just that. Hopefully he understands and gets on board. If not you may have one or two decisions to make.
Remember though, ultimately, you are the one who decides whether to lose weight or not. You are in control, not him. Don't let fear hold you back.
Take care and good luck. Love, Gabby
Disclaimer: This advice is for fun and entertainment purposes only. It should not replace the advice of a qualified professional.