THE FUNNY BONE
Tasteful jokes and comics
Know a good tasteful joke? Seen a funny cartoon/comic by or about SSBBW/BBW that made you laugh? Let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Office Holiday Memo
To: All Employees
Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).
- Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.
- Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill).
- Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
- Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma's house.
- All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
- Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.
In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday.
You Know You've Had Too Much Holiday Cheer When...
- You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.
- Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.
- You start kissing the portraits on the wall.
- You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.
- You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.
- You strike a match and light your nose.
- You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.
- You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"
- You hear a duck quacking and it's you.
- You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.
- You refill your glass from the fish bowl.
- You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place.
- You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.
- You yawn at the biggest bore in the room... and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.
- You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.
- You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.
- You're at the dinner table and you ask the hostess to pass a bedpan.
- You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.
- You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.
- You realize you're the only one under the coffee table.