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Self Acceptance and Society/Fat Acceptance

Self acceptance is loving and appreciating yourself even if there are things you'd eventually like to change. Fat acceptance or society acceptance is getting society as a whole to accept that we have the same rights as everyone else and to reduce prejudice within the community.

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The process of self improvement often has a destructive impact mentally and and emotionally. If you ask what you “should do” or “should be” you become set up for self rejection. Your mind immediately creates a conceptual image of what you should be and another part of your mind determines that you are not the conceptual image you just created. The voice in your head makes a judgment that you are a failure for not meeting the mental image and you end up feeling “not good enough.” All of this because you don’t meet the conceptual image you fabricated in your mind; an image that isn’t even real.

By desiring to be “something” different, you have formed a mental criteria of what you should be, and subconsciously reject yourself the way you are. An example of this “self help ” approach is the way people approach weight loss. Weight loss is likely motivated by the judgment that your body is not acceptable the way it is. The stronger the rejection of your body, the stronger your commitment to lose weight. Losing weight appears to be the way to relieve ourselves from the unhappy self rejection. The problem is that the body isn't causing the unhappiness. The self rejection dynamic is happening in the mind.

Rejection from the voice in our head is painful if we believe it. The motivation to lose weight is directly coupled to emotional pain. Our natural tendency to avoid emotional pain will cause us to look away from our body and give up the commitments to lose weight. An alternative some people engage in to repress the unpleasant emotion is to eat. As a result you may get no results at all or even the exact opposite of what you desire. This type of self sabotaging behavior can occur in any area of your life where you desire and try to make changes, including, financial, career, emotional, spiritual, and relationships. Any time you establish goals or create an image of perfection your mind has an opportunity for self rejection. The pain of that rejection will drive us to focus our attention on something else. As long as we allow the voice in our head to direct our self improvement we are a slave to criticism.

Source: Pathway to Happiness

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