THE FUNNY BONE
Tasteful jokes and comics
Know a good tasteful joke? Seen a funny cartoon/comic by or about SSBBW/BBW that made you laugh? Let us know at email@example.com.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, 'SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL, YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE:
' MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.
I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .
'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.
HE ANSWERED , 'IN 1959. WHY DO YOU ASK?'
'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY, AND THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLED, FAT ASS, GRAY-HAIRED, DECREPIT SON-OF-A-GUN ASKED, 'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?'
|How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?|
|Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?|
|Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.|
|Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!|
|Rottweiler: Make me.|
|Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.|
|Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!|
|German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.|
|Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.|
|Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!|
|Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark|
|Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."|
|Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?|
|Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle..|
|Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.|
|How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?|
|Cats do not change light bulbs People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: "How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"|