Self Acceptance and Society/Fat Acceptance
Self acceptance is loving and appreciating yourself even if there are things you'd eventually like to change. Fat acceptance or society acceptance is getting society as a whole to accept that we have the same rights as everyone else and to reduce prejudice within the community.
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Once upon a time I tried online dating. Un, well, I’ll fess up. It was more online hook-ups at the site I was on. And I decided to be honest about my body. I tried all sorts of words to get the idea across. I changed the ad a number of times and tried BBW, zaftig, Rubenesque, curvy, cuddly, and even plain ol’ overweight as ways of describing myself. I got the odd nasty email calling me fat. But I didn’t give up. In the end I just threw a photo of myself up on the site – naked body in the full view, minus the head for privacy. Let them judge I thought.
The results were interesting. You could see how many men had put you on their “fave” list and how many on their “super-hot” list and how many views you had overall. I had thousands of views – and about 5% of guys put me on a fave list and about 1% thought I was the best thing ever – super hot.
I decided right then and there that I was pleased with the results. Yes, I was rejected by up to 95% of guys – but the internet is a huge place, and to even have 5% of guys to pick from added up to a fair chunk of dates and a lot of sex! And at least with these men I knew from the start they accepted my body.
It wasn’t all roses. From that five percent I did find that there were a few freaks. Some were into “feeding” and wanting their women to get even bigger, and more dependent. Some men thought I’d have no self-esteem, and not care what they looked like in return. Some want a dominant/submissive type scenario. Some just thought I’d never say no. It was quite easy to weed those out via email. I was always super-careful to check them out in everyway possible before meeting them.
That left a handful of guys. Some were just a little shy but still nice looking, just not confident around women. Perhaps they thought that bigger gals may be kinder. I didn’t mind their gentleness and did date one of them. But it wasn’t me – it’s still a fallacy that big girls are jolly and sweet and really I was after someone to knock my socks off, in the same way that any girl wants to lust after someone. In the end I did find that. A super hot, salsa-dancing, latin lover who just loved all women in any shape or size. He didn’t expect me to behave in any stereotypical way. He didn’t fetishize me. He just loved my body. And I felt great about myself too with him.
So that’s all it takes really. Remind yourself that you don’t have to be everything to every guy in the universe. You just need to find one guy – it may be a needle in a haystack but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying. So grab a friendly photo of yourself today and go hunting!
Written by: Jody
The Walk from Obesity – Walk on the Capitol
June 17, 2008
The Walk from Obesity was established to give hope to those needing it most. Walkers raise money by asking friends, family and co-workers to sponsor them. In addition to walker income, funds are raised through sponsorship, matching gifts, corporate contributions and other fundraising activities.
In 2007, the Walk raised more than $750,000 to support the ASMBS Foundation and its research and professional education initiatives, and the patient and general public educational and advocacy programs of the Obesity Action Coalition (OAC). To date, the Walk has provided nearly 2.3 million dollars in overall support.
|"A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again."|
|"You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was."|