THE FUNNY BONE
Tasteful jokes and comics
Know a good tasteful joke? Seen a funny cartoon/comic by or about SSBBW/BBW that made you laugh? Let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org.
The Airhead's Cookbook...
MONDAY: It's fun to cook thought Tom. Today he made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan him some extra bowls.
TUESDAY: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So he didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom's friends came over for supper.
WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but Tom took a bath anyway. He couldn't tell if it improved the rice any.
THURSDAY: Today Tom wanted salad again. He tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Now, we know, why Tom was rolling around in the garden.
FRIDAY: Tom found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When Tom got back, everything was the same as when he left.
SATURDAY: Tom's wife went shopping today and brought Tom home a chicken. She asked Tom to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). Tom's still wondering why she keeps counting to ten and saying "I know ya wanna ask"!
SUNDAY: Tom wanted to fix dinner for his family. He wanted to serve roast, but all he had was hamburger. Suddenly He had a flash of genius. He put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It STILL came out hamburger, much to his disappointment.
GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY: This has been a very exciting week. Tom is eager for tomorrow to come so he can try out a new recipe . If he can afford it, Tom wants to buy a bigger oven, he would like to surprise his family with a chocolate moose.
THE RULES OF CHOCOLATE
- If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, You're eating it too slowly.
- Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
- The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
- Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It will take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
- A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
- If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer.
- But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you?
- If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
- If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?