AN SSBBWs WORLD
Information and rants about living in the real world as an SSBBW
As SSBBWs, we live in a world built for smaller people. Each day we face challenges to fit in, or even to just fit. While education and information are powerful tools, our best resource is each other. Let us know your tips or rants about this subject at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Each month we will profile an SSBBW to help inspire those SSBBWs who haven't yet gotten that they are wonderful, caring, sexy, special people. Click here to read our first profile.
Life on The Outside
Being overweight in today's society is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to overcome -- and not too successfully if I may say so myself.
I have been overweight since I hit puberty at about the age of 11. I went from being a very skinny kid, being teased by family and friends because of my skinny legs and protruding ribs, to gaining weight almost overnight and being teased about my fat rear end. It wasn't easy to deal with. At a time when you are very vulnerable, when you want to be accepted by your peers, when you are starting to notice boys and you want to be attractive to them, it hurts extremely to have them laugh at you, or make pig noises when you walk by. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out again. But somehow I made it through high school. It was the longest and loneliest 4 years of my life.
Now what was I going to do... I was so shy and introverted that I couldn't even go to a job interview. I thought, "What will I wear, my fat pants, my shirt with the buttons straining to near popping?" I was a total wreck. "Will they really be interested in anything I would say?" When I finally got up the nerve to go to my first interview the man doing the interview looked at me with disgust when I walked in the door. He had already decided my fate by my looks. It didn't matter if I was the smartest person on the planet; he wasn't interested because I wasn't acceptable enough to greet his customers. I went through this same scenario time and time again.either the answer was "don't call us we'll call you", or they would give me the job because they were desperate and they figured that I would be working in a back room somewhere or at night when I wouldn't be seen by many customers. I accepted this because I had no choice.
This is what it is like it today's society. You work your ass off, doing that little bit more to impress the boss, just to watch the new girl with the Barbie doll figure and pretty face and the brain like a turnip get the promotions while you are overlooked once again. If it sounds like I am bitter "I AM". I am tired of hearing "She is such a friendly person, but then again all fat people are, they have to be to get anyone to like them" or "I really don't think you could handle the pressure of the position". When what they are really saying is "you're too fat to handle this position". Not all fat people are slow moving walruses, with a brain like a pea. You apply for a job in a restaurant and they look at you like they're thinking "should I lock the fridges and cupboards?" You can't really blame them, when you have the media portraying us like that! Just look at the television sometime. 90% of the shows that have large actors in them portray them as slobs. They are always stuffing their faces like they haven't eaten in a week, with food dripping from their lips and running down the front of their very old and soiled clothes. They show us as the brunt of everyone's jokes with no brains in their heads to speak of.
When is the world going to wake up and realize that we can be a real asset to society? We are smart, loving, dependable, hard working and we have more patience than the normal person. We need to having put up with as much bull as we have. We aren't as likely to steal your husbands as his usual run of the mill secretary. We have a great sense of humor, we have had to build up that part of our personality to get through life and care about other peoples feelings, because we know where they're coming from. If the world would just give us a chance, to show them what we can do without labeling us cause of our size, we could all live a more happy and productive life.
~ Patti [SSBBW] Ottawa, Canada
Being Large in a Small World ...
Ever wondered what it's like to be large in a small-minded world? Or are you large and wondering if you are the only one who thinks as you do? Well, read on ...
Restaurants - when a friend or business acquaintance says "let's go out for lunch (or dinner)" the worry starts ...
- will the restaurant have booths or tables? (I can't fit in a booth)
- will the chairs have arms? will there be chairs without arms? (arms on chairs could be a tight fit - I've actually gotten bruises on my thighs from sitting in a chair with arms)
- is it buffet or service? if buffet - is there room between tables for me to move without disturbing other diners?
- parking - is the parking close or am I gonna have to walk a few blocks
- stairs - will there be stairs? some places have the bathrooms in the basement - although in this day and age establishments are supposed to have handicap accesible bathrooms (wheelchair) which means at least some option on main floor or elevator
- the stalls in public bathrooms are tiny!! I have to straddle the toilet seat in order to get the door closed sometimes
And of course there is always the snickering and staring from people. I guess they think we don';t have feelings or they just don't care. I try to get back at them and look at them with the same look of disgust they have on their face. It makes them feel uncomfortable.