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FAs (Fat Admirers) and their views, thoughts and issues

What is is like being an FA in today's society. What are the joys of living/being with an SSBBW. Are there drawbacks? Let us know at

An Interview with An FA

Each issue we will introduce you to an FA. To let them tell us what they love about SSBBWs and some of the joys and drawbacks of being an FA. We're looking for the next FA to profile, if you are interested or know someone who may be, let us know!

I am a Fat Admirer

Looking back I can now see that I have always been an FA, Fat Admirer. Let me explain.

When I was at school I always gravitated to the larger girls, the ones with a few extra pounds. Sure I was interested in girls generally but some how, the larger girls were the ones I wanted to talk to. Once I was passed puberty and in my teens, I found out that skinny or ‘normal’ girls were the ones you should date. Peer pressure made it very difficult to admit what you really liked! I ended up suppressing my feels and dated the normal size girls.

I married a slim girl who at the time I loved. But in the back of my mind, the feelings were coming back about big girls and my preference for them. Every time my wife said, ‘Do I look fat?’ I always said no and I supposed I wished she was a little bigger! Our relationship ended after 3 years. And no, it was not because of my preferences. We just drifted apart. But once I had recovered and it did take a while I decided to sort myself out. Though my thoughts were changing, my true feelings for the kind of girl I wanted had been buried for a long time. It took a while but I soon made a revelation, size does not count, its what on the inside. Now I was ready to find the girl of my dreams.

Finding a big girl is not always that easy, I found it quite hard. Girls suffer more than boys from weight discrimination. I am sure the bigger girls often heard from their mothers and friends ‘You have put on weight, you will never get a boyfriend!’ So they often stay at home or hang around friends feeling safe instead of going out. They don’t believe that there are men out there who think they look wonderful. There is a misconception that men don’t like big girls. Well, surprise! There are more than you think!

I went to all the places guys go to find a date, Discos, Clubs and Bars etc. As I had just got over a long relationship and I was still feeling bashful, going up to a girl who I thought was wonderful was hard. Imagine going up to a large women as saying ‘Hey there, I think you look great!’, due to the problems they have suffered from friends and family, they just thought I was making some kind of joke at their expense.

Well to cut a long story short, I choose a dating agency. The first was a general agency with many attractive girls on their books. However, very few were what I was looking for. Then I noticed one for big people only. I signed up as quickly as I could and with about a week I had my first date.

Now don’t think that a dating agency is a sad persons only way of dating. I believe it cut out a lot of heartache and embarrassing situations.

My first date was a lovely, attractive girl. Though she was not that interested as she was already dating someone else! However my second date through the agency was my last one. She was a beautiful girl. With in a week we were effectively living together. I had found what I was looking for.

I am proud to say that I am now married to this wonderful woman. She knows that I appreciate her for who she is and that I can see past her size. I now have a better understanding what it is to be big though I am not a big person myself. As she know my feelings on size, she now feels more comfortable with herself and knows that our relationship is going to last a very long time!

~ Bob Toovey - 10 January 2000


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