AN FAs VIEW
FAs (Fat Admirers) and their views, thoughts and issues
What is is like being an FA in today's society. What are the joys of living/being with an SSBBW. Are there drawbacks? Let us know at firstname.lastname@example.org.
An Interview with An FA
Each issue we will introduce you to an FA. This months FA is Gordon, a 53 year old. from Little Rock, AR. To see a list of previous profiles, click here.
SSBBW Magazine: How long have you been an FA?
FA: When I was 8, I remember seeing a very fat woman at the country club pool. I remember thinking "Other people don't like her, but I do." My uncle was one of the editors of "Playboy" so my Dad had a collection of them. I remember when one of my friends and I first looked at it. He was going ape, and I just saw pretty ladies."
When I was a teen, I was pulled in two directions, dating thinner women, but wishing they would gain weight. I had a secret crush on my step-aunt, an SSBBW who had once hung out with the Merry Pranksters. Several of my female friends were BBWs. In retrospect, the reason that I didn't date the BBWs I knew was not because of their weight, but rather, the chemistry wasn't there and I met my high school girlfriend first.
I was a charter member of the Los Angeles chapter of NAAFA. That's where I first met and dated an SSBBW. And much as I love SSBBWs, personal chemistry counts as well and I fell in love with a mid-sized BBW. We stayed married for 16 years.
SSBBW Magazine: Have you always been open with family/friends about being attracted to large women or did you try to hide it?
FA: I've always been pretty open about it. My father had pretty strong feelings against BBWs, but I didn't really care. Despite his feelings, he really came to like my BBW ex. I've never been afraid to date SSBBWs in public.
SSBBW Magazine: What attracts you to ssbbw?
FA: Women seem to enjoy food in a way that men don't. I find this enjoyment palpable and even erotic. Of course I love that their enjoyment of food makes them even more curvaceous and beautiful.
An SSBBW's softness is so pleasing to the touch. Her curves and width are so pleasing to the eyes. I've got long arms and I like a woman who can fill them. I love a round face and how an SSBBW's chin drapes gracefully to her body. I love a generous belly. As an SSBBW moves, her body undulates. In the water her body becomes like velvet, floating and rippling with the currents. That's what attracts me to SSBBWs in general. On a personal level it’s about the chemistry between us.
SSBBW Magazine: What is your ideal woman?
FA: At my age, I'm not looking for an "ideal" woman. An ideal woman wouldn't want me. So I'm more looking for a woman with compatible values. I want a woman more kind than judgmental. I think that you have to be open and honest with each other right from the start of the relationship. I'm very conservative with money, not a spendthrift. But my politics are very liberal to left wing. I think that compassion and working in the community is important.
I'm a good gardener, and can do all kinds of home and mechanical repairs. But my focus is not really in traditional family life. My ex and I never had kids so that didn't develop. I'm not very neat, but I am very creative.
Now I'm trying to get my animation career back on track so I work a lot. At this point in life, I guess I want a woman who is a little nerdy. One who not only likes art, videos and movies but can talk intelligently about them. I also love astronomy and space colonization.
I'm an old hippie. My spiritual basis is Unitarian and Taoist, but I've studied most religions. I like to study history and philosophy as well. And I want to know more about my surroundings. I try to learn about the local plants, animals and geography. I was never into the bar scene, but I enjoy recreational herb when available. I figure that my ideal woman will have different interests and opinions than me as well. For example, my ex introduced me to birds and before the marriage was over she had me raising baby hummingbirds. I hope to learn more about my ideal woman's interests and she would want to join me in mine.
SSBBW Magazine: What are the joys of being with an ssbbw?
FA: I like to give an SSBBW pleasure, that's what excites me. I enjoy cuddling, caressing and giving foot rubs. I enjoy dining with her and cooking with her. I enjoy watching DVDs and discussing them. Sitting by the pool or taking a dip. Listening to music. I enjoy people-watching and pulling off the highway to enjoy a beautiful vista. Its fun to work on projects with her.
SSBBW Magazine: What are the drawbacks?
FA: Our society is not fat-friendly. As an FA you deal with it. An SSBBW is special to me, so it's worth the extra effort to make her happy. You have to visit restaurants ahead of time to make sure that they are fat friendly. You take things at her pace. You do activities that you both can enjoy. You help her make her home so she enjoys it more. You arrange life more to support her.
SSBBW Magazine: If your woman wanted to have weight loss surgery would you support her? Stay with her?
FA: Well, as far as I've seen, the surgery can be problematic and dangerous and I would not support it. Traditional dieting is also a minefield, stressing the body and often leading to weight gain.
If the question is really, "Would I love her no matter how small she was?"; I have to be honest that my attraction has always been to very large women. While I would always love the woman, the physical attraction would be lessened. Were she smaller, she might want someone else who appreciates thinness more.
But were I married, I think my answer would be different. Marriage is a much deeper relationship than dating, one of complete commitment. In my marriage, we discovered that my wife could not have children. I was dismayed, but I was committed to stay by her side. It ended later, because in 15 years we had grown in different directions not for lack of commitment.
SSBBW Magazine: If your woman was unable to leave the house or needed constant care and help because of her size, would you be there for her?
FA: Yes. I know that SSBBWs may have special needs. I would be there for her; doing shopping, washing floors or painting her toenails.
SSBBW Magazine: Is there such a thing too big?
SSBBW Magazine: What would you like to say to all the SSBBWs reading this?
FA: There are FAs out there. They are in the libraries, at schools, doing public service, shopping in the grocery store. Don't assume that the cute guy there isn't interested in you. Be open and outgoing.
SSBBW Magazine: What would you like to say to all the FAs reading this?
FA: For FAs who are afraid to admit it....Have the guts to admit your feelings and go after the really beautiful girls, SSBBWs. Other people just don't care that much about who you are dating. The fear is only in your mind. For FA's who arent. Isn't she so round and sweeeeeeet.
SSBBW Magazine: What would you like to say to those just reading this out of curiosity about the SSBBW / FA community?
FA: Very fat women and FAs have existed since before history. Art proves that. I'm so proud to be an FA and so grateful to God for getting the chance to live in a time when there are such fat women and so many of them.
SSBBW Magazine: Thank you Gordon. [email@example.com]